Confessions of a Wannabe Mountain Biker

I am 43 years old, and I am less than a week away from my first organized mountain bike race.  I will be racing in the novice class...gotta start somewhere.  Many years ago, before age and gravity became my enemies, I possessed a fair amount of talent on a bike.  I had speed, strength, and no fear whatsoever.  Today, I still have plenty of strength, the speed is coming back, and the fear...well...I'm

AFRAID!!!

Not afraid of crashing or injury...I can fix the bike and pain doesn't hurt (for long).  So, what am I afraid of? 

FAILURE

What if I can't finish?  What if I'm just fooling myself with this racing thing?  C'mon, it's my first race EVER.  I'm not going to try to fool myself into thinking I can win this thing, even in the "novice" class.  My goals are to evaluate my conditioning, to learn how to ride in traffic, and prepare for future events.

But, what if...

In addition to being overly analytical, I can also be kind of...slightly...maybe just a little...

COMPETITIVE

and

SELF-CRITICAL

I've been riding and training alone, so the voice in my head, pushing me, berating me for not pedaling hard enough, or taking it easy on a brisk ride sounds a lot like me.  However, when my legs feel heavy and my lungs are burning and I stand on the pedals and get out of the saddle 10 miles into a ride and tackle that hill, the one I could just as easily ride in an easier gear, the guy smiling and thinking, "Let's do that again!"...that guy sounds like me too.

It's funny, that same guy, in my head, who pushes me, criticizes me, rewards me, he says something else.

"YOU CAN DO THIS!"